Saturday, 2 August 2008

If Only We Knew...

Tuesday, 29th July 2008 – Day To Remember…

My phone rang at 6:30 in the morning, Able a fellow lecturer was on the line. Joe you coming? What he meant at that point of time was if I was going to follow the UTAR Shuttle bus to Kampar where I was stationed to teach for this semester. “No Able, I will be driving down myself.” I said. This was the week that I have decided to drive down to Kampar just to see how fast and how tiring would it be to drive down. I left my house at 7:00am sharp and reached in Kampar at 8:40am. Not too bad compared to the normal bus ride of two and a half hours.

At first, I was quite upset as I wanted to leave earlier but unfortunately overslept. If I was able to wake up earlier (5:30am) I would or might consider taking the shuttle bus. “Unfortunately” I woke up late. Driving down alone many things came to mind, negative thoughts or wasting money and fuel as I knew I would not be getting any compensation or allowance for the drive to Kampar.

By God’s grace I arrived without getting lost nor did I get stuck in a bad traffic jam. Praise God! Class was the same as usual, had some laughs and saw some weird presentations from my students. Then came dinner, the Front General Office staff has a sport session (not sure what kind) and hey would only be done by 8:30pm. That was the reason Me, Mok, Able and Shanti went one our little tour of Kampar by ourselves hoping to find a good place to eat. Mok took us to this nice little Chinese stall that sold (apparently) the best clay pot chicken in Kampar town.

After two pots of chicken rice, one dish of Kampar’s famous vegetable, three herbal drinks (Able, Shanti, Mok) and five Chinese tea with ice (mine), we were FULL!! (Burb!!!) On the way back to the hotel, Mok our Kampar guide decided to recommend that “oh! The kuih at the Kampar market is great!!”. Me and Shanti being the food devils, decided (for the whole group, since I was driving) that we would buy and eat in the hotel. The story goes that after about RM15 of kuih, we drove back to the hotel. As we neared the hotel, Shanti mentioned “why don’t we sit down at a mamak or shop to have a drink and eat the kuih?”

BLINK! We were all seated at Ghanny’s Corner a popular mamak stall near to our Hotel. As we laughed into the night a group of Able and my students came (TB3) and sat on the table next to ours. Soon both tables were one and we laughed as we watched all the different crazy stunts and class presentations hat we on Kelvin’s computer. That was when it happened…

Time: 11:15pm – BAM!! As I stood up I see a young motorcyclist lying flat on the floor. He had fallen from his motorcycle while sms-ing and making a turn. I do not believe that he was driving fast. Our students and many around rushed to his aid. Lifting the motorcycle up and getting him seated at the road side. Many First Aiders rushed to his aid, with first aid kits from the cars. That moment in time as I recall now was one of the most amazing thing that I have ever noticed. I never knew that there were so many of us walking around. Those selected few whom had the privilege to learn First Aid and in a moment’s notice extend a hand to help others in aid. I saw that there was a few experienced first aiders and I went back to my table and continued some small chatter. Not to brag, but being an officer in the Boys’ Brigade really helped me as I paid attention to what was going on. One of m students came to me and asked: “Mr Joe, can you send him to the hospital” Boink! I sprinted into my car, Mok my colleague offered to come along, but I said no as I needed someone with at least first aid qualification or a friend of the patient in my car. Woosh! We drove off into the nigh towards the old Kampar Hospital.

With double signal and flashing all the way we reached the hospital within 5 minutes (personal record). I asked Kelvin (my student and the patient’s friend) to keep on speaking to him and not letting him slip into sleep as I fear it could have been a concussion as the patient was feeling dizzy and disorientated. Pushed him into the emergency wad and soon the doctor and nurses were addressing him. Within 5 minutes or so the patient’s friends came rushing to the hospital worried. We got hold of the family, however, the parents were not in Kampar but outstation on their way home. The doctor said he was ok to go home without and scans or checks (what could I do, I am no Doctor!). I did my part and told the patient’s friends that they should let his parents know that the situation may sometimes be more complicated that what is seemed (not to undermine the doctor) but we must still understand that dizziness and disorientation and semi-consciousness, could be a cause of trauma, concussion, or sometimes shock. Whatever it might be, I told them to send him back to the emergency room if he feels any different during the night (i.e. vomit, dizziness, sudden pains etc).

As I drove back, it struck me, GOD is at work and He deserves all the Glory! Praise be to the Lord! Who has so perfectly planned the entire event. Woke up late, caused me to drive, without driving I would not have went with Mok, Able and Shanti for dinner. No dinner means we would not have been buying kuih. No kuih, means not going to mamak and parking my car next to the mamak stall. No car means no way or a delayed way to move him to the hospital. God also placed multiple first aiders and a FIRST AID KIT at the mamak stall. If this is not God’s intervention, please tell me how could so many coincidences happen in one day, one night, one place and so many people.

I sincerely, would like to thank the heroic group of first aiders that were on scene and extended their hand to a person in need. This has truly shown to many of us your heart and your real maturity. As I was discussing with the Ms Shani and Mr Able, the students who stood up, acted up and made a difference were those that were laughing and playing around with us. They seemed (no offence) young, inexperienced, cheeky, playful and unserious (when it comes to studies), but when the time came, they raised up, like a flame in the darkness with their hands and hearts of service. SALUTE! RESPECT! To all those who helped and made a difference!

These heroes, then merely, disappeared into the night. True honor! True heroes!

I could only name a few of those who were there, from UTAR Foundation Program Year One Semester One Class TB3: Daniel, Kelvin, Suven and an anonymous first aider that came to the rescue.

Maybe there is hope in the next generation after all… Everything happens for a reason… whatever God puts in your path now is merely a preparation of what is to come. Be patient and you would know that what you have gone through today would help you shine in the future. If this happened to you, what would you have done? Think… Would you stand and help? Saying is nothing, today I witnessed history in the making…

They did it… can you?

Your Life, Your Choice… Choose Wisely – It could make a difference!!

In His Service,
Timothy Chan
Lieutenant - Boys’ Brigade 2nd Subang Jaya Company
Assistant Lecturer – UTAR Centre Of Foundation Studies


P.S.: Moral of the story, do not sms while driving, riding a motorcycle, riding a bicycle, or walking. It could be dangerous.

Monday, 26 May 2008

A Small Reminder...

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.


I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.


'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked. She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...' 'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. 'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.


Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium.


As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.' As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.


You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.' She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'


She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.


These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.


We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.


God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.


'Good friends are like stars........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.'


I'm Only 16 Years Old.... Muahahahaha!!!!



With Love,

Lt Timothy Chan Liem Joe

Senior Section Officer

2nd Subang Jaya Company

Boys' Brigade Malaysia

Thursday, 22 May 2008

My 25th Birthday 20 May 2008

It was the most "memorable" birthday that I hope I would ever have. The situation was...
Location:
Mamak - Nathan's Corner
People:
Me, Joon Fei, Kai Hin, Sook Ling, Spider, April, Evonne, Poh Ling, Poh Ling's 13 year old sister.
Time:
11:30 - 11:50pm
Story:
Evonne's ex-boy friend stalked her to the mamak and asked her to return some items that he claimed that he "borrowed" her when they were together. The items were, RM500, 2 touch and go cards, 1 lighter, 1 smart tag, 1 old nokia phone (i think it would cost RM10 or less).

Ex-boyfriend became slightly angered when Evonne refused to return him the items claiming that she did not have them (of course she does not la, who would bring 2 touch and go cards and a smart tag out to mamak?? Wahliao!!). Ex-bfriend raised his hands wanting to (i assume) slap her. Joon Fei reacted and screamed at him.
Ex-boyfriend then walked over with an angered voice. Joon Fei stood up posioning himself for a fight. Some further accusations and a fight broke out. I pushed Joon Fei with my left hand and the ex-boyfriend with my right hand (To devide them). However, I failed to see that the ex-boyfriend had a wodden batton on his right hand. As he swing, it hit me on the head. I continued to push the ex-boyfriend away from Joon Fei.

At this time, all hell broke lose, Joon Fei then turned to the ex-boyfriend's friend who at this point has joined the "fun". Kai Hin and Joon Fei concentrated thier attention to the friend and eventually after a broken chair has left his friend with also a bleeding head. How serious? I have no idea as by this time i was bleeding and the people around the mamak as come to stop the commotion.
At this time Joon Fei's nose wes bleeding and his head was bleeding as well. As others went to his aid, I touched my head and it was filled with blood. As they sat me down and got hold of cars to take us to the hospital I sat there calmly rationally somehow without any anger or bitterness of what has just happened.
It took us only about 10-15mins to travel to University Hospital. walking into the emergency room, We were instructed by the nurse to sit down and register. Cool eh? Bleeding head, hands covered in blood, seated down on a round metal chair giving the nurse my IC. Then finally another nurse came to my aid, she asked me to lift my hand and said "tak berdarah dah..." (Not bleeding anymore). I guess those red stuff that was still bleeding were only sweat.
I cleand my face over a small tap at a corner of the room. then proceeded back to the registration table when the nurse asked me to go to another counter to register fully. I sat there with "sweat" dripping telling the admin personel my contact details, address and phone numbers. Oh Yeah! I pard RM20 too.

Then we walked into another waiting area were we waited for doctor's consultation. after 1 hour, it was my turn, walked in a nurse look at it and wraped it then took my blood preasure. 5 mins later I was back outside waiting to see thed doctor agian! another hour past, then it was finally doctor's consultation.
"You will need some stitching" the doctor said, "But before that go take an X-ray". Ok doc! went out, walked to the cashier, and paid another RM25 bucks! Walked to the X-ray room and waited another 30mins. Cik Ciak! X-ray done! Wooo hoo....!

Walked back and waited another 30mins then doctor saw me agian and looked at the x-ray online! (that was pretty cool) after confirming that I did not get and fractures on my round scull, I then signed the form for surgery. one hour later I was back outside with 8 stitches on my right side of my head! The doctor that attended to me had a very calming voice (for your info I am DEAD SCARED of neeedles). I told the doc that I am scared of needles, he was kind enough to do the stitching personally on me. What a good doc. He would also talk to me and let me know what he was doing.

We did make a police report about the incident during our waiting time. But we decided not to raise any charges towards the ex-boyfriend. We discussed and decided that what ever happened happened and no point of us being angry over such things. more anger would only spark more anger. With more anger and a hotter temper who knows what will happen.

Here are now some pictures of the incident in the hospital. Please take note that we had some fun in the hospital because of the long wait. I think I have gotten a PHD Permanent Head Damage. Muahahahaha!! I Praise God for his angels of protections and Hand upon my life. It was Him who kept me safe and it was Him that gave me peace even in times of anger. I could feel God sitting right beside me telling me what to say and word to use. I look back at this situation now and Praise Him even more. There was astually not alot of pain. Who could asked more from a God who protects you, guids you, comforts you, and healds you?
I went home, bathed, cleaned up all the access blood, blowed dry my head then knocked on my dad's door (by the way, I called qand told mom about the incident earlier when I was in the hospital (mom was outstation at that time). Told dad about it but he took it clamly (supprisingly).

Next morning, I took my cap and went to work as I had a meeting about next semester's plan. I submitted my Medical Certificate and informed that I would be on MC. Went home and slept...

I'll post some pics later...


After all the running up and down, I sit here now at my desk. Thinking of my actions and my decisions. Frankly if I were to rewrite this, I would have no idea how would I write it. What would have happened if no boys were at the table? The Ex-boyfriend has a wood in his hand ready to be used. Would he have beaten Evonne up? Would the otehr girls have gotten attacked? Frankly I would have never known. If I did not went in to help Joon Fei, would he be beaten up even worst? Are my actions right? Justified? Only God knows. But I for one know that I did not act out of anger or bitterness, it was a reflex to protect those that are around me.

Would I do such a thing agian? Maybe... But with a little more caution. What world do we live in now that people walk out of their house with a wodden batton tucked in their bags?

Be ever grateful of God's presence in your life...

Be Sure, Be Stedfast
Timothy Chan Liem Joe Phd.
Boys' Brigade 2nd Subang Jaya Company
Boys' Brigade Malaysia

Here In My Home - Malaysian Artistes For Unity

Who we are? Where we come from? Where we have been? Where are we going? How do we react? Think...


Friday, 25 April 2008

The Path To Success…..

Lets define success, in this context I will define it as being successful in your field. What field am I talking about then? Well, if you’re a student then your field is education, if you’re an executive your field would be to climb the corporate ladder, or if you’re a father/mother would be bringing up a God fearing, honest, and hardworking children. So now that we have cleared up what we mean by success, lets now evaluate how successful we are. Unfortunately I am unable to state or evaluate YOU, my reader. However I can share my evaluation of my success.

I may not be able to use the words “I have succeeded”, but the title of this entry states it clear. I am still on my path to finding my own success. Honestly I do not believe anyone can truly find the end of this path as we constantly have something that we will or hope to achieve.

My success of being a son of my parents, I may not be the perfect son in fact I think I a far from it. But I think till this point in my life I find myself at a comfortable level that I have done and achieve certain milestones in my life. I was able to complete my university education with somewhat good grades. Worked hard to sustain my own lifestyle the best that I can with part-time jobs since my earlier days. Generally honestly is still kept with my parents as they are too open to my opinions and suggestions. They trust my judgment and support whatever I set my mind in achieving. As children, you would understand that there are still some aspects that we still keep to ourselves. But generally my parents would have an idea what is going on in my life and of what stage of maturity I am in. I have also gotten myself involved in “healthy activities” such as Boys’ Brigade, Church, and my favorite past time mamak (at least not pubs and dance clubs). I think that is the gist of my success in being a son. With that i give myself seven out of ten. Now lets look at another side of my life, my achievements in Boys’ Brigade.

The Boys’ Brigade, I have been in it for as long as I can remember. I joined as a Junior (no Pre-Junior then) in 1990 and advanced to the Senior Section and then eventually out grew my “blue” age and went into officer ship. How successful I am in this? Who I am today in greatly influenced leaders, NCO (Non-Commissioned Officers), officers and peers. How would I fair in a scale of one to ten? I hope I have achieved at least a seven. I do not believe I was a good member or an officer. Although I have been appointed the rank of a Lieutenant, I still feel my contribution is still somewhat at a minimum. I try to teach or advise those that are still in blues what I have been thought. That is the way of the brigade, what we have been thought we pass down. Maybe my term as an officer is still new and I might not have seen the fruits of my labor. Not many people see the point of why I do what I do. Honestly I don’t know either. After beginning to work, life is so much packed in a small box. Monday till Friday I am stuck at work, Sundays I have church and the only time I have left for anything would be either on Saturdays and Sundays afternoons. But taking out Saturdays from my “free” list, there seems to be little time left for myself. But then how successful am I as a Lieutenant? I guess the answers will speak for themselves when time catches up. At this point, I consider myself as failed. I want to push harder and stronger. At current point six out of ten.

Seems that I have written quite a lot Well I am not finished yet in evaluating my self success. My next evaluation would be my studies (education).

Sekolah Rendah Jenis Kebangsaan (Cina) Choong Wen
Ujian Penilaian Sekolah Rendah (UPSR)

Primary school was pretty much a screw-up as I never did my home work, and was considered the class joker. Teachers tried and failed. At one stage I really tried to change but people and teachers treated me with biased opinions and I was “expected” to cause problems. So eventually I gave up after a while. After the “dreadful” time in primary I went to high school.

Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Desa Perdana
Pemeriksaan Menengah Rendah (PMR) & Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM)

A Fresh start with new surroundings, unbiased opinions, no preconceived opinions of me. I took the opportunity and eventually worked my way through the ranks. From the last class to the first class, from a prefect to the prefects trainer, from a member to the president and captain of Green House, from school player to the captain of the under 18 basketball team, president of the basket ball club, member to the president and trainer of Fire Brigade Cadets, getting involved in photography club, computer club, Interact club. Amongst all these, I managed to stay in the top class from Form 2 and 3 and in Form 4 and 5 top class in arts stream. My grades were not great but they were average, I would be somewhere in the middle of the class rankings. My SPM results were average, with no fails. I managed to get into colleges so I had 5 credits.

Tertiary years were great too!
Taylor’s College Subang & University Science Malaysia (Penang)
Diploma in Advertising
I kept an average Course Grade Point Average of 3.32 at the end of my 2 year diploma. I had loads of fun in college, joining orientation teams, participated in the record breaking of the Longest Sushi In Malaysia, help organize a graduation party in Nuvo Dance Club with sponsors from everywhere. We booked the entire ground floor and have a great time there. Then I was blessed with an opportunity to go overseas.

Edith Cowen University, Perth, Western Australia
Bachelor of Communications Double Major In Advertising and Public Relations

University years were one of the greatest times of my life. When I first arrived in this “new land” things were very much different in everyway possible. The lifestyle was almost a complete turn over of my normal life in Malaysia. No more spoon feeding in classes that’s for sure, if we did not complete our work, our lecturers would simply fail us. Criticisms were straight forward and harsh. I learned to be so much more independent. But it was all good once I got used to it, it started to become fun, joined the Malaysian Students Council (MSC) and was elected the Advertising and Promotions Director. Helped out in university International Students’ Orientations and also got involved in the Student Guild and even help in the campaigning process to get a friend of mine run for President of the Students Guild. Worked four jobs, got baptized, volunteered in church, help in planning the tertiary students ministry’s (called AGAPE) yearly camp, traveled to Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sydney and Melbourne at my own savings from work. I also joined a FGA mission team to Hong Kong for two weeks. From a stranger to a family member, from an outsider to a brother. That experience and the people I met there will always have a special place in my heart. Studies, I managed to get into the honors program but similar to many international students I did not have the financial funds to support another one year to get honors.

Now lets look at how successful I am in the education line – Primary School was a bummer, I think I failed miserably. High School I have achieved great heights but I forgot my primary purpose which was to study hard, so I give myself five out of ten. College I did fairly good in my results (compared to high school) and my other passion of extra co-curriculum activities, so I give it a seven out of ten. University was challenging, but I think I could have done better in studies, so I will stick with seven out of ten.

Now after such a long evaluation, we have finally reached my duties to society in the working environment. I won’t talk about my previous jobs as it would then take forever to finish this post. My current job in education, it started off a great change from the challenging and long hours of the corporate life. I love the job, I love the people that I have met along the way and I love the feeling of being able to help make a difference in someone’s life. But I have just finished my first phase (my first full semester). The results were not that would have expected. I came in with a heart that was filled with fire to help. But the exams results were not what I have expected. I have stared to question my abilities being an educator. Am I really suitable for this job? Did I do more harm than good? Did they learn anything from me? If so why the bad results? Was I too lenient and did not push them hard enough? So many questions unanswered. Honestly I cannot put a grade on this. but I will put a grade based on my current available information - bad grades even with extra classes and revisions – Grade four out of ten.

What is the reason for this whole grandfather story? Simple, at each step of our lives we have to remember what is our main priority or rather what is our role now. You’re your parents’ child, so you have a duty to be a son/daughter to your parents, by honoring them, respecting them. As a student, you have a responsibility to yourself in achieving and accomplishing the best of your abilities. You owe it to yourselves to do the best that you can because it will affect your entire life. When you work, you should have loyalty to the company, society and family.

I am not much of a role model, based on only quantitative facts I am able to grade myself at an average of five over ten. What about the qualitative facts? Friends? Relationships? Religion? Honesty? Commitment? There is so much we have to look into ourselves. Where would we want to place ourselves, how we would like to place ourselves, and what do we hope to achieve at the end of our life’s journey.

Take sometime now, think about your life. How would you manage up to? How would you then grade yourself? Do a self check on yourself. See how much would your give yourself?

In His Service
Lt. Timothy Chan Liem Joe
2nd Subang Jaya Company
Boys’ Brigade Malaysia

Thursday, 27 March 2008

As hard as it gets…

Inspiration has finally brought me back to the world of blogging. This whole week has been challenging for me mentally, physically and spiritually. It brought me back to reality about some things that I believe should matter more in life. I won’t tell names, places or cite quotation due to the amount of people that read my blog. But I will tell you a short story about my week.

Many people take of me of a strong bloke that can take on everything. From conflicts to finances to life, however, few seem to notice that I am breakable too. I stand firm on the solid rock in which God has placed me however some waves still hit me. Some soft… some hard… there are all things that I can handle, it’s just that it cracks me a little here and there. How do I then define these problems? In God’ prospective, these are tests that will help me in my life journey. As we cling on to God who is our rock, we shall not fall. The waves of the world will strike us again and again, harder and harder, the foundations of your faith is tested, how long can you stand?

Honestly I have stood there for quite some time and many people climb on to me. But my foundations are starting to shake… how long would I last? I don’t know and do not want to know. I am seen in so many as the big brother. Be it in Boys’ Brigade, Church even at work (UTAR). I try to help others who are in need, those whom are week, those who are oppressed, and those who have broken (spiritually, mentally and physically). Sometimes I look back in my life and I see all these, but no one that stood beside me that looked after me. Family you say are your greatest support, I agree, but families too fall short sometimes. Relationships crumble in a glimpse of and eye with a word, an action or sometimes in a single e-mail. We cannot undo what we have done, we cannot uncut something that is bleeding, so I urge all to be careful of where you put your knife…

Now let’s all look again into my life, I feel as if I am a robot… I can reboot or restart or reformat my feelings and my thoughts. How? You might ask… let me explain… I do not believe I ever cried nor have I ever been angry over the top. I might be angry but not furious. I would like to think of this as a Blessing from On High. Why? Honestly, I am not sure either. Even from high school till now, I never did cry no matter what happened. Slapped by a girl in front of hundreds of people, rejected, betrayed, heart breaks… you name it I have gone through it. But still no crying, tears… maybe but not crying. I cry in my heart, broken and painful but still no crying.

I has a friend once that said, “ok what… cannot cry is a good thing leh…” is it really true? I can also be angry now and be cheerful again in a few minutes. Forgive and forget... that’s the phrase that we should hold on to right? Maybe… as Chinese guys, we are brought up to believe that crying is for sissies and babies. A men that cries is not a man. Harsh words for life isn’t it? This week I saw something that should bring tears to my eyes and heart but guess what? Not a drip… as I ran my fingers through my phone directory, no one I could talk to, no one I could seek council, no one I could hide behind… I even had to smile and laugh as I had classes on.

My life is tiring, with every minute pre determined by the things around me… somethings slowly I see that I am no longer needed… slowly and surely I will slip into the thing people called “forgotten”. Sounds like a horror movie right? But hey that’s life. You will only be important to people when you are directly linked with them in their lives. Eventually you will drift away as if you were a petal that fell onto drifting waters… when you are on the flower, you feel beautiful, once fallen, you drift away into the dark passages never to be seen again, never important…

That’s life… are we fallen flowers?
Depressed? Don’t be, God has made the world perfect, how? The fallen petal will flow into rivers and dissolve into food for fish and plants and the circle begins again. What does this mean? Well I don’t know about other people, but I believe that God has made each situation worthwhile for us in the future. How? Simple… every problem (shit) we encounter now, God can make it into a wonderful flower (success). We can kill us will only make us stronger.

Going through problems? Be a blessing not the blessed. Be a blessing to others (just like fesse becomes the fertilizer for trees) even though your life sucks, you can still choose to bless and not feel sorry for yourself. When we bless others we learn to bless ourselves. That will make us independent and no longer drawing “blessings” from others. We should always be the giver and not the given.


Blessing or blessed? Giver or given? Your choice…
I am broken today but I will not stay broken… Raising Up For Tomorrow...!


The broken...
Lieutenant Timothy Chan
Boys’ Brigade 2nd Subang Jaya Company, Malaysia



Wednesday, 20 February 2008

my father Chan Chew Ming‏ (My Grandfather)

This is an e-mail that I got from my Aunt (My Dad's Youngest Sister)

It writes...
Why do I write this? Perhaps as an inspiration to all of my Family, and perhaps so you will realize that as a Parent you impact the lives of your children more than you can think. Somehow I think all of us are the Living Proofs of our Parents.

So, who is my father, or your grandfather Chan Chew Ming & what has he meant to me as a Father?

Now we know I was adopted but if anyone were to ask me who my Father is, the immediate answer from my heart is Mr Chan.

I can think of no other man in this world who, despite not being my biological father, was such a good and real father to me.

I truly believe that when a man dies one day, the only thing he can pass on & with how he is remembered are the memories of his love.

How do I remember your Grandfather, your great Grandfather, your Grandfather-in-law?

My father was a well known businessman in Chinatown, Petaling Street. In his lifetime almost all the police and every Chief Police of KL and Selangor knew him.

He was not well educated but he truly was a self made man. At 1 point, my father
- owned tin mines (and even the lease to a gold mine in Pahang except one could not mine it due to communist threats),
- race horses (he shared ownership with Tunku Abdul Rahman, the 1st PM of Malaysia & Senu Abdul Rahman a prominent UMNO member who attended my father's funeral),
- the 2nd arms license in Malaysia (there being only 2),
- insurance agencies
- and shares to lands which included part of Entrepreneur Park today

Mr Chan was also a Fair, Just, & Kind man who stood up for the weak.

As to why he was so popular? I think it was because he was a nice person, generous with his money and time plus he had a great sense of humor, style and adventure.

In fact I see many of his good traits in my brother, Justin, Joe and even my husband; which seems incredible to me!

Ofcourse as all of us do, he also had many bad habits and the major ones were probably smoking & gambling; but he knew his limits, and contained his vices to ensuring, no matter what, that
- the rent is paid,
- the servants are paid, and
- there was no lack of material comfort for his family.

(no kidding, you know how high maintenance all of us are ?? :) Think about that and you know it is true!)

Despite being quite a successful businessman, and liking to play mahjongg during the week as much as possible in his men's club, and horse racing over the weekends, my best memories of my father are the times he spent with us, his family.

He would
- have dinner with us as many times a week as possible

- take us on holiday to Port Dickson at least twice a year, and 1 other place - Ipoh, Penang or Singapore

- wait up for me sitting by the window with the tv turned on low so that he knows when I cam home (as I had to be at the library - this was when I was 18 to 19 years old

- When I was sick, he would always look in on me. He also made sure I went to as many doctors as it took to cure me, since I was frequently ill as a child. Because I threw up all my medicines, the only time I could hold the medicine down was when my Father sat there with me, and told me not to throw up.

- If he came home, and he saw I was being punished ie kneeling at the altar and with cane marks on my legs, he would check with my Mother what had happened. Then depending on my 'crime', he himself would come and rescue me from kneeling.

I was caned VERY often, and I kneeled VERY often...always for more than 1 hour, and many times had to forfeit eating dinner AND NOT always for doing something that wrong. So you can imagine how his acts of kindness always reduced me to more tears.

Here I have to admit some truths about myself. I used to steal money (not big sums but enough to buy me candies, of which I never lacked in the first place!).

I think on looking back now, it was because I felt I was not loved by my Mother (it is a fact and it no longer hurts) but it was my way of dealing with my emotional problems.

- He went along to my first 'real' job interview at the now Concorde Hotel (Merlin then) with my Brother as a way of giving me courage and making sure I was not being tricked into anything 'funny'

I grew up with many material gifts but the best gifts from my Father included

- A roll of candies he bought at least twice a week - and with which I did not have to share with my brother. In this roll of candy he would delight me by putting in a 10cents coin. I have to thank my Father for all my fillings today!

- 3 knitwear from Singapore because when my father went for a trip with my brother (without me), he promised they would get me a gift and I asked for a blouse. Turns out the guys went to 1 shop and picked out 1 design but decided I needed a 'uniform' so they picked 1 design & bought all the colors it came in.

- To give us a love for books and to encourage us to read, he allowed us to buy comics every week, and he bought us Life magazine, National Geographic, Readers Digest, and enclyclopaedias - ALL of which were very very expensive in our youth

But some of the valuable lessons he gave me were
- making sure I learnt the value of a dollar by paying me for polishing his shoes when I was 7 onwards

- Because in a way he knew I was neglected somehow, he always told me I coeuld do whatever I wanted because I was a smart girl
- Not to run away from my problems. I ran away from home when I was 13 for a few days (I actually found work as a junior maid in a home in Kenny Hills!) and when I came home, he made me ask for forgiveness from my mother, made sure my mother knew I was now old enough to understand things so my mother really did make an attempt to be a Mother to me; so it turned out well!

- Be kind to the underpriviledged as he showed great kindness to the Wong family including paying the kids for small jobs, and taking 1 of them with us each time we went to PD, allowing them to delay paying their rent, taking robert wong under his wings etc.

- Enjoy the journey not only the destination because he would stop at a lot of places on our trip from KL to PD, Singapore or Penang for a meal so that we knew the delicacies of the place

I did not have an easy time with my Mother and my Father probably saved my life in more ways than he can imagine.

My story of My Father is so long, and in this short synopsis, I hope you would find the qualities with which you too can have your Children and their children remember you.




What do you think of your lives? Are you making an impact on others? Or are you just no one... in life we can either be someone or no one...

I hope I become someone....

Friday, 1 February 2008

Drifting into the past...

Sometimes don’t we ever feel that we are drifting into yesterday’s news and that suddenly you are not who you seem or think you are anymore? It kinda hit me again today. Woke up and came online. I found some old friend’s flicker and blogs. It hit me because things seem to be a quiet day and things are going slowly. My feelings now are like rain clouds, when you are here and ready to rain, people talk about you, people think about you, people are worried about you, people are ready for you… but after a while, after your rain has fallen, you suddenly become waste. You flow into the drains of the street never to be seen or noticed again.

Perth - the happiest time of my life, from a stranger to a family member back to a stranger. It hits me sometimes, when I look at friends’ photos, you don’t see your photo in them no more. You fade into the past as waters fall into drains. Quietly but surely you flow away, never to be seen again. Friends and families that you build so carefully seems to just fade into the last page.

The Boys’ Brigade – my passion, my ministry. It gave me the identity that I have been searching for so long. It inspired me to be who I am today, not perfect but changing slowly. It has thought me much, so so much. You are their closest friend, best buddy, older brother or in some cases daddy! Haha! It sounds funny sometimes when I think about it, how nick names like daddy, uncle or old come about. But soon these kids will grow up, from hating the opposite sex to finding their first love, their first break up, first temptation, first heart break, first disappointment… well you know the story. But suddenly they realize that they are now in their college years, high school issues do not seem to be important anymore. The cycle is repeated every year, a new bunch arrive, naïve and innocent, and another leaves with experience and ready for the world’s challenges. It is then that it suddenly hits you, you’re not needed anymore! No use, not important, old… your page in their lives has past and completed, now they venture into a new page, with new people contributing to it.

You fade, slowly and surely into “yesterday”… tears sometimes fall in my heart, I think most parents would feel this as their kids grow up! Sigh… another sign that I’m getting older…
But then we fail to notice that after the rain, flowers bloom, trees are nurtured, the streets are cleaner, the air is fresher, the weather is cooler… the rain fades away and runs a rainbow over the sky… Wow isn’t that something great?? How God brought you to the place and used you to make an impact and then taken to away to another place, another time, another tree to impact. Well that’s life I guess, we learn to move on and rain on other places for other people. God will always move us away from our comfort zones because He does not want us to stay stagnant and become lazy… lazy to do His work…

Our lives are constantly being filled with new challenges, smiles, worries and changes. Most of us are reluctant to change, I know I am! From the beginning of this blog post, I was sad, but by now I feel inspired… inspired to strive on for more and curiosity of where God will bring me next. Its such a fun thing to wait in Him who has our lives planned. I wonder what does He have installed for me, can’t wait!

If He is for us who can be against us! Oh God! Just hope I did today good…



Fading into the pages…
Lieutenant Timothy Chan
Boys’ Brigade 2nd Subang Jaya Company

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Writing 2007


Wow time flies like a blink of an eye and we are looking at the end (or rather the beginning of 2008) already. What have we achieved this year? What did we fall short off? What did we make use off? Maybe what we have experienced…

Been trying to blog about things, but somehow, nothing came out. Blank screen, blank mind. Lets see what have I been up to for the past year. I was wondering and praying hard to God for a new job. I sent out almost 50 resumes and applications, none replied. If memory serves me right I think I only got one reply and one interview. I was really hopping that one of the colleges would return my call. I was looking at lecturing or teaching. None did… But from the help of my aunt, I finally got a new job.

The first few months on the job were at a blur, don’t think I really did anything as the field was so new for me. For those of you who dint know I worked for an advertising agency as an Account Executive (NO not real accounts its client servicing). I really learned a lot and my contacts grew tremendously, printers, suppliers, builders, designers, media, etc. I worked from 1st January till about September. Work got a little bored after a while as the company I worked for went through some hard time in terms of business. I had a promise that I would at least work till end of the year (because it was really stale and boring to go to work everyday and have nothing to work on.

I looked to God to provide me with the direction that I painstakingly needed. Advertising – my dream field, I have studies and inspired to work in turned out to be not what I sincerely wanted my life to be. The hours at the office is good, don’t get me wrong, I am not a lazy person. But it’s the backstabbing, lies, and plain unfair competition that really got me. Maybe I am naive, but I do not want to come to a point were I have lost even my simple conscience. In the short time in the field, I saw educated people act like spoilt kids, bad mannered and plain childish. Sometimes I feel that they give a bad name to the “educated”. But hey that’s my two cents.

In one warm August morning (Malaysia is always warm). I got a call from one of the local university. They had an opening for a lecturing job! I want for 4 interviews and finally they accepted me! Wow! I thought to myself, how great is God, I was worried on where would I go if I left my company and He “took” me by hand to this new place. My future (at least for now) is secured. I am enjoying my job tremendously. So yeah I am working now as a LECTURER!!!

That’s all for work for now, next 2007 brought me back to the lessons that God had thought me throughout the years. Relying in Him in all that I do, why? He got me a dream job for starters! Now I am faced with a more complicated situation. As you should know that I am involved with The Boys’ Brigade Ministry and I am attached to 2nd Subang Jaya Company (BB2SJ). Few of my leaders have begun to question their efforts and their role in the ministry. It was truly a hard time for them. They had to carry their burden and also the company’s burden. Sometimes I wonder how they are doing now, spiritually, mentally and physically. I can’t imagine myself in their situation, with family, work, studies, church, friends, and BB, they really do not have anytime to spend alone or just chill.

I think the act of merely taking for granted the people around us is something that most of us do. Nagging of parents, friends, teachers, bosses etc. its like we expect them to be there no matter what until they are gone, we regret. As leaders, we accept the fact that what ever we do, they will hate us and what we are doing is for their own good. We also accept the fact that almost none will say thank you. But the small fantasy of someone walking up to you when you’re old saying thank you for investing in my life drives me on. I see how much burden the world can put upon the youth today, peer pressure to be cool, studies, relationships, friends, class politics, church politics, family problems, finances, the list goes on. The youth today is no more naïve, innocent, cheerful and in peace. The world is slowly robbing their “youth” from them, working them to enter the world of reality earlier and earlier.

That’s 2007 for me. It has been an eventful year for me, had some hard aches, falls, smiles, lessons and peace. But the Christmas play at The Acts Church (my home church). Thought me this:

“We can’t control what God places upon our lives, but we have the control over how we go through them”

“What man intended for evil, God intended for good”

God will place some stones, waves or even holes in our path, but how we get through them is our choice. When we see others placing evil upon our lives, in God’s plan it is good. As we seek God more, we see His plan more. What we can’t see does not mean its not there. Life will always bring upon to you challenges after challenges, and at times you feel like giving up, remember its not in God’s nature to temp or be evil, it’s Man that is temps and is evil.

If He is for us, who can be against us?


Be Sure Be Stedfast
Lieutenant Timothy Chan
BB2SJ