Thursday, 18 February 2010

Dedicated to Ms Quah Chau Im May Her Soul Rest In Peace

It is with great regreat that I extend my heart felt condolences to the family of Ms Quah Chau Im for the loss of thier beloved daughter, wife and sister. On the 13th of Feb 2010 (eve of Chinese New Year), Ms Quah Chau Im took her life because of post natal depression. It has been a hard time for all Centre For Foundation Studies (PJ Campus) lecturers and staff members.

Ms Quah or better known by friends as Quah CI was a dedicated, friendly and well loved individual of friends and students. In these testing times, my prayers go to her family for their loss. When we encounter such grief, we often question "why". Why did God take her away from us? Why did God take such a wonderful person at such a young age?

I believe we should remember that His plans are perfect and sometimes when we don't understan Him, we should keep our faith in Him who knows whats best for us. We should not be sadden by Quah CI's passing but we should celebrate her life, he passion for teaching, her smiles, he encouraging words, her wonderful personality, and her impact on all of ourlives.

As I reflect of my time spent with her through all university activites (Brains and Brawns and Foundation Orientation Program), I am remembered of her wisdom, willingness to help, passion for students and laughters. I remember when I first walked into UTAR, she was my "older sister" she thought me the tricks and trade of CFS. I have learned so much from her.

My dear Quah CI, your impact on other I may not fully know, understand or comprehend. But your impact in my life, forever I will cherish.

May your sould rest in peace...

With tears and broken heart,

Friday, 1 January 2010

Happy New Year 2010

To Everyone A Blessed & Happy New Year 2010 !!!

May the new year bring you smiles, health and a new beginning. No matter how hard was 2009, 2010 is a new beginning to makes things right... God Bless You! God Be With You! God Walk With You!

New Beginning, New World, New Life, New Hopes...


Sunday, 27 December 2009

Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia

I came across this term “Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia” which means “I Am Of Malaysia Ethnicity”. This short but simple term has gotten me thinking of my country, my home, my identity in the world. It highlights what we should all understand that as a Malaysian, we are and should be identified by Malaysia. We should understand that we should not be looking at each other by…

what our names sound like,
where our forefathers came from,
which mother tongue we speak,
how our skin colour looks like, or
what our religions are.

From the day we were born, fate has brought us to this land. This wonderful land filled with colours, sounds, laughter, customs, religions and food. Malaysia has brought us through wars, economical crisis, racial warfare and even provided us with a unique identity that is different to the entire world.

I proudly call myself a Malaysian, this is because here is where learned how to walk, talk, learn and grew up. So to all my readers, remember that Malaysia did not give up on us, we should not give up on her too. She has kept us safe, she has thought us well, she has kept food on our tables and laughter in our hearts.

I urge you, when someone asks…

Are you Malay?
Are you Chinese?
Are you Indian?

Please Answer:
No, I am Malaysian… I am Malaysian by birth, I am Malaysian by ethnic background, I am Malaysian by soul and I am Malaysian by right.

I am a Malaysian…

Saturday, 26 December 2009

A Turbulent 2009

Which Path Shall I Take?

Well, its that time again of the year. I know I have bee quiet in my blogging. That is because my life has been pretty messed up for a while now. I do not know who I am nor do I know where I am heading. It is only up till recently that I was finally hit hard head on into a wall. I guess although God forgives, He also “reminds”. It has been a difficult time for my spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. My thoughts up till today and this very minute as I type this is still jumbled up and confused. My heart and my mind seem to have taken a long vacation.

For those who know my field of work, I do not exactly have a choice to go to work gloomy or sad. A smile is needed, inspirations, and great enthusiasms should be showed at all times. But deep inside it has really been challenging. I can now have another warning in my heart to tell more people that one mistake or a misjudgment can ruin or shatter your entire life, entire existence even entire self. Self? You might ask, YES a everything you do in life will haunt you and one day come back to take its revenge on you. I lost myself, I lost my friends, I lost my personality, I lost heart. Confused? I am too as I really have no idea what I am writing.

Through it all, some decisions have been made and some dark sides of my life have finally seen light. I give thanks to God for helping me see, I give thanks to God for helping me understand, I give thanks to God for sustaining me through all this. I am reminded of a verse from 1 Corinthians 10:13 which reads,

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

How great is our God? I think He is a fabulous guy, He calls you His friend, He strengthens you with love, He forgives with grace, He makes you’re a prince/princess, He blesses you with the world, He renews you when you tire, He lifts you up like a Father, He laughs as your laugh, He cries when you cry, He understands you before your heart even beats and most importantly He comes down to save you even though you are unworthy.

This year of 2009 has been a challenging year for me. I questioned so many times why, but the answers were not given, but as the year comes to an end, God somehow made everything make sense again. This year, I lost family members, I lost love, I lost friends, I lost hope, I lost direction, I lost determination, I lost faith and most importantly I lost God. But as the year comes to an end, I realized that although I tried to hold on to so much, I cannot hold on because I never held on to Him. This year has been a reawakening for me. I am excited to see what God has planned for me in 2010. Although my heart has been broken this year, I hold fast to Him who gives me life and life abundantly. I have faith that God has a plan to bring me to higher heights and more testing comes my way.

Some day as I look back at this blog post, I will smile and understand how small things and problems are. But to me now, it seems like the whole world is falling apart. I have listed to 10 things I want for 2010…

1) I want child like faith to believe just because He is worthy.
2) I want strength, His strength to walk this path.
3) I want love, His ever ending love.
4) I want change, to truly a child of God.
5) I want to smile, because in Him I can.
6) I want my old man to die and start afresh in Him.
7) I want to put all my trust in Him.
8) I want to live for Him
9) I want to only give Him my best
10) I want to experience Him.

As I write this blog post I am reminded of a song I once learned by Delirious? called Trading My Sorrows. In one of its verses, it sings about 2 Corinthians 4:9 that writes: persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. The song goes like this:

I'm trading my sorrows.
I'm trading my shame.
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

I'm trading my sickness.
I'm trading my pain.
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord (x3) Amen

I am pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's going to be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

It is a beautiful and powerful song and words. No matter what the world throws at us, we can still stand as long as we stand with God and lay everything down on his feet. As the sun sets for one day, we start afresh in God in the morning.

This picture was taken in Kampar

With a simple prayer that is said in every church service in Acts Church Subang Jaya, Malaysia, I end my final post of the year…

Numbers 6:24-26
The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.


With Praying Hands

A story worth sharing

This is an e-mail I received... Enjoy...
Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago, writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy.

Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long.. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange... very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew. When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone, "Do you think I'll ever find God?"

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.

"Why not," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing."

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out, "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!"

He shrugged a little and left my class.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line -- He will find you! At least I thought it was clever.Later, I heard that Tommy had graduated, and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report came.

I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me.
When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. "Tommy, I've thought about you so often; I hear you are sick," I blurted out.
"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks." Tommy replied.
"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.

"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied.

"What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?"

"Well, it could be worse."

"Like what?"

"Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life.."

I began to look through my metal file cabinet under "S" where I had filed Tommy as strange. It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me. "But what I really came to see you about," Tommy said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!)

He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time. (My clever line. He thought about that a lot!).
"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.....

Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit.I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable.I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said:

"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.”

So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him. "Dad."

"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper.

"Dad, I would like to talk with you."

"Well, talk."

"I mean. It's really important."

The newspaper came down three slow inches. "What is it?"

"Dad, I love you, I just wanted you to know that." Tommy smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.

"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me."

"It was easier with my mother and little brother.. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years."

I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long.
Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to." Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, "C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks."

"Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right.....He found me even after I stopped looking for Him."

"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realise. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said: "God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.''

"Tommy, could I ask you a favour? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell it."

"Oooh.. I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."

"Tommy, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."

In a few days Tommy called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date.

However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.
Before he died, we talked one last time.

"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said.

"I know, Tommy."

"Will you tell them for me? Will you tell the whole world for me?"

"I will, Tommy. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- I told them, Tommy, as best I could.

If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.

With thanks,
Rev. John Powell
Loyola University,Chicago

Thursday, 1 October 2009

My Thoughts

Today was a special day for me, one is because I was freaking bored at home with nothing to do. But then towards the end of the day I was chatting with an old student. She told me of a really saddening story of how a young girl because of a mistake has taken her from a normal everyday girl to a person that is chained by the circumstances that is around her. I once again how one decision can cross your life and make everything seem crumbling down. ONE DECISION. How we make our decisions no matter at which part of our lives can and could affect the entire outcome of our lives.

This sounds scary I understand and I know. However in my book, there is hope. I have learned that when we are faces with a decision that potentially or possibly change our lives, I go to the one person that I know has control of all factors. God, Faith and Trust. Many people these days have an issue with trust, we have problems trusting others. Take for example, when someone comes to you and asks you if you would be interested in something (anything) your initial answers would be no and the thoughts that go thru your mind would be what is it in for you (commission, money, benefits etc). But God on the other hand, gives you everything before you would even ask and He has a plan that is specifically for you. Then, the factor comes into mind again, what is in it for you, God? The answer is simple, your heart. What does that mean? Your heart is your belief, your faith and your acceptance of Him in your life.

Wow! Some of you might say, giving up your life to Him is a big thing. Would He ask me for my life? No, God will never ask you to do any harm to yourself. What He asks from you is things that you SHOULD already be doing. If you ask what are these things, the answers are already in you. Your parents thought you to be good, do not tell lies, be true to yourself and others around you etc. It is simply the things you already know from moral and ethics. Most of these things are already known to you. Most of us practise these ethics and actions everyday of our lives.

Back to the story, one decision has damaged the girl’s life, it has forever changed her thoughts, her future actions, her trust, her life. Where can or could she ever find faith in people again? How could she trust another person? What happens to the dark memory of the decision? Where does she go from here? The answer as you might expect it is simple, God.

Why God? Because He never fails and your simple belief in Him. Belief or believe is something very important in everyone’s life. No matter who you are, what you do or how you do things, belief is in the centre of them all. If I am a student, I tried my best but still I failed. Why? Some people would blame themselves, some would blame their lecturers or teachers, some would blame their boyfriends/girlfriends, some blame their friends, some blame their families, some blame the surrounding, and some may even blame God. Now, think for a while, a different perspective may make things seem so much more simpler. Maybe God has made it so because He wants you to be at a specific place, specific time or specific situation? Maybe by failing you understand more of life? Maybe by failing you are more humble? Maybe because you fail, you will gain something in the future that was the outcome? But please understand that I am not saying the God wants you to fail and when you fail you can say “oh! God wants me to fail...”. No my friends, you have got it all wrong; I said when you have done your BEST. Question first yourself, have you done your best? There is always a silver lining even within stormy clouds. What does this mean? This explains that some things that are beyond our control, we can give it to God.

Humans are a rare and unique species, we try so hard to control everything around us. Sometimes it is easier to know that someone else is in control and when we are unable to comprehend and understand things, someone will make things right and will settle whatever issues we are facing. I have experienced so many times that when things become beyond my control, God has made things run smoothly for me. From choosing university, to work, to finances, to family and even relationships, God has came through for me. But faith does not come by instinct; it comes from many many failures. I have tried so hard to control my life at times that God has to smack me in the back and remind me. But once I surrender them all to Him suddenly it all makes sense.

Friends, have faith, have courage to dream and have God. Try Him out... Man can never be perfect so do not put your faith in man, but place your faith in God! Christians, its a hard and narrow path, but keep your walk straight and in Him. For my other friends, give God a try, consider Him. Some people say, once you go Mac (Apple computers) you will never go back. But I say to you now, once you go God, you will never go bold. You will never lose your waking hours stressing and struggling through life, instead, you learn to enjoy life as you walk this path with Him.

Its a long post, I am sorry for that, so I will end here with John 3:16 the most commonly used verse in the Bible, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God has already taken the pain and sins from us.

Enjoy life, enjoy yourself, enjoy God, enjoy...

Your friend,
Timothy Chan.
A normal human being

Friday, 11 September 2009

My Reflections

Its that time again where I reflect on what has happened and what will hopefully happen in my life. I am writing this again on my bed before I go to sleep. I had a break after 4 years of working day and night. It has been a good break and a get away from all that troubles me and for the last 6 days I have been away from it all, just to reflect, recharge and restructure myself. It has been a tough 4 years with many things that has happened, especially for the past one year where God has shaken me again and again in faith and in my walk in all aspect. Loosing people I love and holding my feelings back has truly taken its toll on my life, with work, relationships, ministry, family and faith clinging on to every second of my waking life, it is sometimes hard to even find time to breath.

This break I went back to the place where I felt the most peace throughout my entire life. Perth, Western Australia. I stayed at my best friend Jane’s house. It was a nice cozy house over at Atwell approximately 30mins from the city. She stayed there with a housemate Esther and has 3 dogs, Oscar, Summer and MaChi. I went to many of the places that I use to go on a weekly basis, the markets, church, university, city and even shopping and beach. So many memories came out of this trip, how I wish all these was still the same. So many has changed since the last time I was here 5 years ago. Roads have changes, buildings have been rebuilt, people have moved on and even the feeling was different.

This time when I went back I asked God for a new direction, new and renewed perspective and new batteries for the coming years ahead. I always enjoyed my time when I am in Australia simply because I feel a sense that I am away from everything and it gives me the quietness to rethink and listen. The skies and blue and the breeze are chilly as its early spring. The weather is great, flowers blooming everywhere and the sun is warm. Whenever you look up upon the skies you see a glimpse of heaven and a glimpse of God looking down at you. Maybe it is because Perth is such a slow town where people walk slower, drive slower and even eat slower. It is quite a big difference with KL where everything we see and do is in a fast forwarded motion. No one in Perth is rushing no one seems to be worried and everyone seems to be enjoying life as how God has intended it to be. Of course they too have their troubles and problems. But if you’re going for a visit, they seem to be in a better place.

Well, now its back to reality again, work starts officially today (Friday) and its back to the fast paced life that I have grown to accustom to. I really don’t know if I am ready to face tomorrow yet but with God holding on to my hand, I feel like I could take on the world again. Psalms 40 writes:

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods. [a]

5 Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
but my ears you have pierced [b] , [c] ;
burnt offerings and sin offerings
you did not require.

7 Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll. [d]

8 I desire to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart."

9 I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O LORD.

10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.

11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.

12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

13 Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.

14 May all who seek to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.

15 May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
be appalled at their own shame.

16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
"The LORD be exalted!"

17 Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay.

God, I place my life upon to your hand again. Take me by my hand like a child and guide me in your ways and take me to my path where I may once again walk right in you. May I seek you first in all that I do and may I relay on your strength when my strength alone is too weak. Lord, carry me, Lord, guide me, Lord, help me listen. As the dear patters on the waters of my soul long after you.

To all my readers, God is true and God is here. Whatever life throws at you, through God there is an answer and through God we draw strength to carry on. Relationships, Family, Friends, Studies, Work and Life, nothing is impossible for my God, the maker of heaven and earth and the source of my strength and courage. I may be only a small dust in His eyes but He calls me by my name and knows everthing about me. He reaches down to me when I get into trouble and when I call, He comes rushing down to ask me what happened and takes my burdens from me. I smile not because I am happy, I smile because God is with me.

To all Christians, stand stedfast in God. Stand with God. Stand beside God. Walk with God.

To all my other friends, I pray that you would find God in your own way. He is ever ready for you. Just ask and it will all be given to you.

Psalms 121 is my favorite verse, it writes:
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Enjoy life as how God has intended for us to live. Live with purpose, life with joy and live in peace. I pray for a little peace and joy to each and everyone of you. If you are going through testing, test not yourself, test your faith. Because with faith, nothing can stand in our way.

With praying hands and knelled legs,
Timothy Chan
A Prince of God, Friend of Jesus and a Christian.