my father Chan Chew Ming‏ (My Grandfather)

This is an e-mail that I got from my Aunt (My Dad's Youngest Sister)

It writes...
Why do I write this? Perhaps as an inspiration to all of my Family, and perhaps so you will realize that as a Parent you impact the lives of your children more than you can think. Somehow I think all of us are the Living Proofs of our Parents.

So, who is my father, or your grandfather Chan Chew Ming & what has he meant to me as a Father?

Now we know I was adopted but if anyone were to ask me who my Father is, the immediate answer from my heart is Mr Chan.

I can think of no other man in this world who, despite not being my biological father, was such a good and real father to me.

I truly believe that when a man dies one day, the only thing he can pass on & with how he is remembered are the memories of his love.

How do I remember your Grandfather, your great Grandfather, your Grandfather-in-law?

My father was a well known businessman in Chinatown, Petaling Street. In his lifetime almost all the police and every Chief Police of KL and Selangor knew him.

He was not well educated but he truly was a self made man. At 1 point, my father
- owned tin mines (and even the lease to a gold mine in Pahang except one could not mine it due to communist threats),
- race horses (he shared ownership with Tunku Abdul Rahman, the 1st PM of Malaysia & Senu Abdul Rahman a prominent UMNO member who attended my father's funeral),
- the 2nd arms license in Malaysia (there being only 2),
- insurance agencies
- and shares to lands which included part of Entrepreneur Park today

Mr Chan was also a Fair, Just, & Kind man who stood up for the weak.

As to why he was so popular? I think it was because he was a nice person, generous with his money and time plus he had a great sense of humor, style and adventure.

In fact I see many of his good traits in my brother, Justin, Joe and even my husband; which seems incredible to me!

Ofcourse as all of us do, he also had many bad habits and the major ones were probably smoking & gambling; but he knew his limits, and contained his vices to ensuring, no matter what, that
- the rent is paid,
- the servants are paid, and
- there was no lack of material comfort for his family.

(no kidding, you know how high maintenance all of us are ?? :) Think about that and you know it is true!)

Despite being quite a successful businessman, and liking to play mahjongg during the week as much as possible in his men's club, and horse racing over the weekends, my best memories of my father are the times he spent with us, his family.

He would
- have dinner with us as many times a week as possible

- take us on holiday to Port Dickson at least twice a year, and 1 other place - Ipoh, Penang or Singapore

- wait up for me sitting by the window with the tv turned on low so that he knows when I cam home (as I had to be at the library - this was when I was 18 to 19 years old

- When I was sick, he would always look in on me. He also made sure I went to as many doctors as it took to cure me, since I was frequently ill as a child. Because I threw up all my medicines, the only time I could hold the medicine down was when my Father sat there with me, and told me not to throw up.

- If he came home, and he saw I was being punished ie kneeling at the altar and with cane marks on my legs, he would check with my Mother what had happened. Then depending on my 'crime', he himself would come and rescue me from kneeling.

I was caned VERY often, and I kneeled VERY often...always for more than 1 hour, and many times had to forfeit eating dinner AND NOT always for doing something that wrong. So you can imagine how his acts of kindness always reduced me to more tears.

Here I have to admit some truths about myself. I used to steal money (not big sums but enough to buy me candies, of which I never lacked in the first place!).

I think on looking back now, it was because I felt I was not loved by my Mother (it is a fact and it no longer hurts) but it was my way of dealing with my emotional problems.

- He went along to my first 'real' job interview at the now Concorde Hotel (Merlin then) with my Brother as a way of giving me courage and making sure I was not being tricked into anything 'funny'

I grew up with many material gifts but the best gifts from my Father included

- A roll of candies he bought at least twice a week - and with which I did not have to share with my brother. In this roll of candy he would delight me by putting in a 10cents coin. I have to thank my Father for all my fillings today!

- 3 knitwear from Singapore because when my father went for a trip with my brother (without me), he promised they would get me a gift and I asked for a blouse. Turns out the guys went to 1 shop and picked out 1 design but decided I needed a 'uniform' so they picked 1 design & bought all the colors it came in.

- To give us a love for books and to encourage us to read, he allowed us to buy comics every week, and he bought us Life magazine, National Geographic, Readers Digest, and enclyclopaedias - ALL of which were very very expensive in our youth

But some of the valuable lessons he gave me were
- making sure I learnt the value of a dollar by paying me for polishing his shoes when I was 7 onwards

- Because in a way he knew I was neglected somehow, he always told me I coeuld do whatever I wanted because I was a smart girl
- Not to run away from my problems. I ran away from home when I was 13 for a few days (I actually found work as a junior maid in a home in Kenny Hills!) and when I came home, he made me ask for forgiveness from my mother, made sure my mother knew I was now old enough to understand things so my mother really did make an attempt to be a Mother to me; so it turned out well!

- Be kind to the underpriviledged as he showed great kindness to the Wong family including paying the kids for small jobs, and taking 1 of them with us each time we went to PD, allowing them to delay paying their rent, taking robert wong under his wings etc.

- Enjoy the journey not only the destination because he would stop at a lot of places on our trip from KL to PD, Singapore or Penang for a meal so that we knew the delicacies of the place

I did not have an easy time with my Mother and my Father probably saved my life in more ways than he can imagine.

My story of My Father is so long, and in this short synopsis, I hope you would find the qualities with which you too can have your Children and their children remember you.




What do you think of your lives? Are you making an impact on others? Or are you just no one... in life we can either be someone or no one...

I hope I become someone....