Drifting into the past...

Sometimes don’t we ever feel that we are drifting into yesterday’s news and that suddenly you are not who you seem or think you are anymore? It kinda hit me again today. Woke up and came online. I found some old friend’s flicker and blogs. It hit me because things seem to be a quiet day and things are going slowly. My feelings now are like rain clouds, when you are here and ready to rain, people talk about you, people think about you, people are worried about you, people are ready for you… but after a while, after your rain has fallen, you suddenly become waste. You flow into the drains of the street never to be seen or noticed again.

Perth - the happiest time of my life, from a stranger to a family member back to a stranger. It hits me sometimes, when I look at friends’ photos, you don’t see your photo in them no more. You fade into the past as waters fall into drains. Quietly but surely you flow away, never to be seen again. Friends and families that you build so carefully seems to just fade into the last page.

The Boys’ Brigade – my passion, my ministry. It gave me the identity that I have been searching for so long. It inspired me to be who I am today, not perfect but changing slowly. It has thought me much, so so much. You are their closest friend, best buddy, older brother or in some cases daddy! Haha! It sounds funny sometimes when I think about it, how nick names like daddy, uncle or old come about. But soon these kids will grow up, from hating the opposite sex to finding their first love, their first break up, first temptation, first heart break, first disappointment… well you know the story. But suddenly they realize that they are now in their college years, high school issues do not seem to be important anymore. The cycle is repeated every year, a new bunch arrive, naïve and innocent, and another leaves with experience and ready for the world’s challenges. It is then that it suddenly hits you, you’re not needed anymore! No use, not important, old… your page in their lives has past and completed, now they venture into a new page, with new people contributing to it.

You fade, slowly and surely into “yesterday”… tears sometimes fall in my heart, I think most parents would feel this as their kids grow up! Sigh… another sign that I’m getting older…
But then we fail to notice that after the rain, flowers bloom, trees are nurtured, the streets are cleaner, the air is fresher, the weather is cooler… the rain fades away and runs a rainbow over the sky… Wow isn’t that something great?? How God brought you to the place and used you to make an impact and then taken to away to another place, another time, another tree to impact. Well that’s life I guess, we learn to move on and rain on other places for other people. God will always move us away from our comfort zones because He does not want us to stay stagnant and become lazy… lazy to do His work…

Our lives are constantly being filled with new challenges, smiles, worries and changes. Most of us are reluctant to change, I know I am! From the beginning of this blog post, I was sad, but by now I feel inspired… inspired to strive on for more and curiosity of where God will bring me next. Its such a fun thing to wait in Him who has our lives planned. I wonder what does He have installed for me, can’t wait!

If He is for us who can be against us! Oh God! Just hope I did today good…



Fading into the pages…
Lieutenant Timothy Chan
Boys’ Brigade 2nd Subang Jaya Company